October 26, 2018
Hi I'm Nikki Lyn Pugh, aka The Gentle Traveler. I am a writer and a transformational health coach (see thegentletraveler.com for more info about all that).
I am also a hopeful romantic who (let's be honest shall we?) hasn't been all that smart when it comes to love.
So after thirty years of dating and roughly a dozen long-term relationships, I guess I am finally wising up, taking a step back and taking stock of what it all means.
I thought all this searching would end up in marriage, family, children. You know, the usual stuff. But that didn't happen.
And now it's almost 2019. I'm middle-aged, single (again) and starting over (again). I could really start to freak out about all this. I could drink myself into oblivion (for consecutive nights). I could buy stock in a recreational marijuana shop and whiddle away my days in an indica haze. I could put myself out there on Plenty of Fish for the highest bidder (or highest number of likes). I could rent an apartment in some boring suburb next to a shopping mall and take in a bunch of stray cats. I could sign up for yet another self-help course on how to find the perfect soul mate in 21 days or less (for only $19.99!).
Or I could start a blog.
So I started a blog. Here it is. And here's the deal. Every day for the next 1,000 days, I will write a post. I have no idea what each post will be on. All I know is that it will be raw. It will be truthful. It will be honest. It will probably piss at least one person off, mostly because I tend to cuss a lot (in person and on the page). Oh yeah, and each one will discuss some aspect of the following:
-boyfriends
-girlfriends
-marriage
-lovers
-unrequeted love
-crushes
-love poems (my own and others)
-heartaches
-rejections
-romance
-yearning
-nurturings
-confusions
-Goddesses
-erotica
-sex
-sensuality
-intimacy
...And a thousand other topics having to do with loves, losses, pain, ecstacy, declarations, pinings, insights and the messiness of the human heart.
Thus the 1,000 days.
Indeed, there are more "little things" that make up the topic of love. And some big things to. But a girl's gotta stop somewhere. After 1,000 days of doing this, if I'm not married, head over heels in love with "the one," or completely enlightened (in which case I will be so blissed out that I won't need a guy), then I'm going to really throw in the towel and invest in all those cats.
A thousand passages about love. A little over 2 ½ years. Every day without fail.
Reflections. Deep dives. I WILL DO THIS. Not because it is cool or hip or could produce at least three books. Of course, all those things are very true. But that is really not the reason why I am making the commitment.
I am doing it because I really want to KNOW what that THING called love is. You know what I am talking about: The searching eyes. The fast-beating heart. The swelling libido. The lips pressed together. The embrace. The swimming in each other as if nothing else matters.
Oh yeah, and then the crash and burn. The crying in the middle of the night. The frustration. The fights. The being alone again. The cycle of putting yourself out there and falling down over and over. Then getting right back on the saddle. I'm either the most hopeful person in the world when it comes to love or I am incredibly stupid.
Or I could be incredibly hopeful and incredibly stupid, which is the worse combination of all.
Still the inquiry that keeps me up at night remains....
What IS that THING that happens between two people when a certain energy wraps around them.. gender, age, circumstance and distance be damned!
Do you ever wonder about what is happening with all that palpable energy when two people long for each other so bad that their collective hearts feel like they are being ripped out of their chest, even when they are mere inches apart?
Some have known this. Others never experience it. Some experience it one-sided, when affections are not reciprocated. Those poor slobs really suffer (I know this from experience).
Now the quest to know the mechanics of the human heart IS the passion. And it's as hot as a kiss from full, wet lips.
Despite my best efforts, my worst nightmare has come true. I have become the queen of serial monogamy. So why not take a look around my queendom and see if I can learn a thing or two?
This will be my medicine pipe ceremony. My morning prayer. My daily mantra. My newspaper and cup of coffee at the breakfast table. My nightcap all by myself.
It is time for some serious inquiry into love.
Let the search begin!
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